So, growing up a sickly child, migraines at the age of three, probably and probably younger, being this ill makes a person make promises, swear that ” I Will Never”.
I won’t bore ya’ll with the drawn-out facts, but I was born with a genetic condition that caused me to have high blood pressure, which caused me to have migraines from a very young age. My parents speak of me automatically throwing up after being breastfed, so Doctors put me on soy milk. Anyway, blah-blah-blah, this continued until I was in my teens, constantly sick at PE time, recess, and anything that would raise blood pressure. I was considered a middle child, seeking attention.
I was given many medications at the age of 13. How many? 28 per day. I said to myself, and I would NEVER – ever become addicted to pills, gross, I can’t stomach it.
Thirty years later, I became addicted to pain meds.
Married an alcoholic, said I would NEVER- ever, drink alcohol. 25 years later, at the age of 50, after never drinking a drop of alcohol, you guessed it, became an alcoholic.
Join me. It’s time to get sober. I’ve Been drinking for seven years straight; it’s time to give it all up and face the sorrow, shame, and rage I’ve been burying for 57 years.
xoxo

It’s been a minute, hasn’t it? I had to quit writing, it was too overwhelming for me, it was just too dark.

So, I’m still with my husband, and we did seperate for a while, it was heavenly, I was able to find myself. I was able to understand at the age of 55 that being a people pleaser is not being a person at all. It’s living your life to please people that will never, ever, be pleased. They will always want more from you, and never be willing to give.

I have so much to share, so much to say.

So, here we are at our Vacation home, the home we purchased for retirement, the home he has used as a bachelor pad.

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There is a woman who lives behind our “retirement home” she lives with her husband. When we first moved here it was her boyfriend, or fiance, who the eff knows what her title was. I knew something was up, but when I googled who lived at that particular address and she came up I thought “oh hell no, he would never go for her.” I was wrong. He did, and has, and does.

I listened to the people at “survivinginfidelity.com” and said nothing for the first months. I acted as if I did NOT know a thing was amiss. However, I have come to find, in these past five years, my H is a serial cheater.

Even though she is quite a few pounds that he would normally go for, I’ve found he is quite a few years more than she would probably go for… in other words: ” the each of them are low hanging fruit” poor losers.

It’s been a complete mess. I keep waiting for the: “I gotcha” moment, it’s not gonna happen, they are experts.

So, here we are, at our supposed retirement home, I am waiting for our children to finally launch themselves to leave.

There are others. Many. And, this blog, “Now and Then” will fill you in on the details of my H many affairs. And, I in between that time will prepare to leave.